cameron 'n me

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

It's been over a year since I last posted something here. I got a lot of feedback on the stuff I wrote, for which I was very appreciative. And I think I got more feedback about stopping than I did about writing. Apparently people were actually reading this stuff. I started out just doing it for the hell of it, and I think the more I realized people were actually checking it out, the more pressure I felt to write something worth reading. And it became clear there is an inverse relationship between perceived pressure and my ability to write. A lot of people have told me I should write professionally, like music critiques, or whatever. I'm afraid there's no way - can't do it with a gun (deadlines) to my head.

Since I last wrote, much has happened to me. I continued the project assignment in DC through July of last summer. I was working long hours but was able to do a LOT of bike riding, albeit in the stifling Washington heat.

I missed the Rochester Jazz Festival, for all intents and purposes, for the first time ever. That was a major downer. But right after I finished that project, I went on what was probably the best vacation of my life. My whole family rented a ginormous house on the beach in the Outer Banks. The weather cooperated, the ocean cooperated and all 20 or so of us cooperated. There aren't too many families that could put 20 people of three generations (technically four since my daughter was pregnant at the time), into one house for a week and not have at least a little discord. But we can. Maybe because we had practice over several years in beach homes in Virginia Beach in the 80s when my Mom was still alive. But mostly because I have a most awesome family, and how can you not get along in such a great setting?

The kids are old enough to fend for themselves, and even go out by themselves, so that takes pressure off. I pretty much buried my toes in the sand, read books and listened to CDs for most of it. Everyone found their own groove and ran with it. It was perfect. As Elmer Fudd said, "west and wewaxation at wong wast."

In November I became a grandfather. If that in itself was not incredible enough, I was actually able to be present in the room when Cameron Robert Borja came into our lives. I was present for both of my kid's births, but because I'm older and was just a spectator this time, it was an entirely different experience, and maybe even more amazing this time around, in some ways. I guess I had a more....existential take on it all, and the miraculous nature of the event hit home more directly than it did when I was in my 20s. It was life-changing, again.

I could write a book about the baby, and how relating to him since his birth has affected me. Another post for another time.

Fast-forward to March, when I was laid off from my job of 28 years. Life changing, indeed. I'm still in mid-change, not having garnered a replacement job. Working on that. I have had several interviews and informal meetings with people and firms I know in the business. Several have promise, but as of now it's just talk. Until someone sends me a letter of employment, that's all it is. In the meantime, I am working on keeping the stress under control. The mortgage never sleeps.

One advantage of unemployment was that I got to delve deeply into the jazz fest this year. I made up for last year, to be sure. Many late nights, but who cares? I could sleep late. That's how it's done. The local music critic Jeff Spevak was putting "Jazz Haikus" in his daily review articles. I did one of my own:

Nine nights of music
Sleep is much overrated
And the beat goes on

So, an eventful 12 or 13 months, more good than bad. Ac-cent-uate the positive, e-lim-nate the negative. Easier said than done, I'm afraid. but now that Summer is here, it helps.

2 comments:

Niki said...

I'm SO glad you're back to writing. I know I took a long break too....sometimes the desire and the need is just gone. Mine was anyway. Good to have you back :)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you got back to writing too .... now I don't have to talk to you and can just read your life. Funny that you would rather write about it than talk , but sumthin for everyone. JG ( not Jerry Garcia ! )


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